I haven’t written in a while. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s because things have been getting back to normal and there hasn’t been much news.
I’m getting PSA tests every three months and the two tests that I’ve had since my surgery have come back with a PSA level that is “undetectable.” That doesn’t mean that the cancer is gone, but it does mean that the minute amounts of cancer cells that may be present after the removal of the tumor in my prostate are at a level so low that they don’t register on the test. That’s good.
My purpose today is something a little different.
I discovered the “Unbelievable?” podcast in the depths of my struggle with cancer. I’ve come to enjoy it for its philosophical and spiritual discussions and the existence and nature of God.
Well, this week’s episode was “Cancer and Christianity” with Tim Keller. I really wasn’t sure that I wanted to listen to it.
For those who don’t know, Tim Keller was an evangelical pastor and speaker who died in May 2023 from pancreatic cancer. Keller was diagnosed in 2020 with cancer that was already at stage 4. It was terminal when it was discovered.
As hard as it was for me to deal with my own cancer, it’s tough to imagine how it must have felt to have a doctor say, “This is going to kill you.”
I really wasn’t sure that I wanted to listen to what was one of Keller’s last interviews. Even though my life is getting back to normal, the thought of cancer is never far from my mind. I didn’t really want to spend an hour listening to someone else talk about it.
I’m glad I did though.
Keller talked frankly about his feelings, which were similar to emotions that I’ve had. There’s the initial shock that death, which has always been theoretical and distant, could be a lot closer than you ever imagined. There’s the “scanititis” fear of what the next test will reveal. There’s the question in your mind that any ache, pain, or abnormality could be related to cancer because you know that cancer is a certainty for you.
Despite his terminal diagnosis, Keller seemed to be dealing with his cancer in an upbeat and positive way. That speaks well of his faith to be so optimistic as he walks through the literal valley of the shadow of death.
I offer this interview with Keller both as a way to let other people with cancer know that you aren’t alone in feeling how you feel as well as to help friends and families understand the emotions that their loved ones are feeling.
I’m posting the YouTube version of the interview below, along with a link to the podcast version on Spotify. I think most major podcast platforms carry “Unbelievable.” The link to the “Unbelievable?” website is also below.
Spotify:
YouTube:
“Unbelievable?” website: https://www.premierunbelievable.com/shows/unbelievable
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My Prostate Cancer Journey is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Previous Installments:
1 - The Diagnosis
3- Easter Special - An Apology to Apostle Thomas
4- My Treatment
6-Night is the Darkest Time - The Mental Battle of Cancer
7-How To Be Prepared For A Health Crisis
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